Archive for the ‘rebelling’ tag
Dangerous Friends?
As your child gets older, it’s natural for him to “rebel” or make choices that you might not approve of. If you are afraid that your child is falling in with a bad group of friends, don’t start panicking, because there are some things you should do before you jump to a conclusion. If you see some odd behavior changes in your child and he’s been mentioning friends you’ve never met, encourage him to talk about his social life with you. Ask “He doesn’t sound familiar, is he a new friend?” Give your child the opportunity to have his new friends over so you can get to know them and observe their behavior. You might discover that these new friends are nothing to worry about. On the other hand, if you disapprove of these buddies, try to refrain from discussing this with your child. If he’s trying to break away from you by hanging out with these kids, your disapproval will only fuel his rebelliousness – worse still, it will discourage him from sharing things with you in the future. The only time you should intervene is if you see a direct threat to your child’s safety and well-being – that is, if these new friends are using alcohol or tobacco or leading your child into dangerous situations that could get him into trouble.
Make sure your child understands your expectations for him. Remind him of the values you have worked to instill in him, and make it clear that there will be punishment for breaking the rules. If you’re worried about your child, don’t take any bad behavior lightly. If your child begins to strike up cruel arguments or speak rudely to you, don’t turn a blind eye, even at the smallest incident – make sure he realizes that there are consequences for such actions. Let your child know that he should not act that way around you or anyone else. Friendships come and go throughout childhood, and chances are your child won’t maintain relationships with kids whose values conflict with his own. As he matures, he will make lasting friendships and his rebellious phase will come to an end. While it is crucial that you watch for signs of danger and threats to your child’s safety, you have to remember that you cannot make decisions for your child. He must learn who he is and how to maintain good friendships for himself and experiences like these are an important part of the learning process.
