Parenting Blog

Separation anxiety is just as hard on a parent as it is on a child. Leaving a child at preschool for the first time can be heart-wrenching, even if your child adjusts well and gets along with the other kids. In unfortunate cases, a child will cry or throw a tantrum when his parent tries to leave. A parent’s first instinct may be to stick around until their child calms down, but this isn’t always the best course of action. The child often throws a tantrum in order to get you to stay, so by sticking around you are only encouraging their bad behavior. If you don’t indulge his cries, he will calm and soon enough, the tantrums will be a thing of the past.

Of course, leaving a screaming child behind whether at preschool or with a babysitter causes anxiety for the parents. If you’re leaving him at a preschool, you should remember that separation anxiety is not uncommon and your child will be under the care of professionals who know exactly how to deal with such a situation. In that case, it’s best to leave your child and he will likely adjust to his new routine within a few weeks. If he doesn’t adjust, he probably isn’t ready for the change and preschool may be put off for another year. Every child matures at a different rate and such a situation is quite common. Even if your child isn’t ready for preschool when his peers are, don’t worry; chances are he’ll catch up in no time. It’s important to remember, however, that a child who refuses to adjust year after year may have an undiagnosed learning or social disorder such as autism or Asperger’s Syndrome, a kind of social autism. It’s important that such disorders are diagnosed and treated early on, so if you suspect that your child is developmentally impaired you should see a professional right away.

If you’re leaving your child with a young babysitter, make sure your babysitter is equipped to handle a tantrum if your child is experiencing separation anxiety. Even though your child will probably calm a short while after you leave, a young and inexperienced sitter can easily be overwhelmed in that situation. It may be best to leave your child with an experienced parent or an older family member if separation is particularly difficult. Also, a familiar face can comfort a child who is experiencing separation anxiety. Remember, this problem is very common among young children and is usually nothing to worry about. The best thing a parent can do is to not indulge his fears and allow him to adjust to the changes of growing up.