Kids Coping with a Special Needs Sibling
If you are a parent of a child with special needs, hopefully you have been able to find overwhelming support and information to help you give this child the best advantages in life. A child with special needs requires so much care, however, that if you have other children, they may feel neglected. Here are some important things you should know about how your kids cope with the situation, and how you can make life easier for everyone.
Depending on the condition of your special needs child, taking care of him or her is probably the primary focus of your family life. This is necessary and unavoidable. Your other kids understand the necessity and love their sibling very much, and they are likely very helpful when it comes to caring for their sibling. They may sound like little doctors when they talk about their brother or sister’s health and progress, but still they can’t help feeling lonely and left out. This can result in very confusing emotions, including resentment towards their sibling and you. A child who spends a majority of their free time helping care for their sibling will harbor a lot of very understandable stress. Their situation is so unique that they have no one to turn to for advice and support. It’s like being born into the role of a parent.
Of course, your child will also develop traits that will go a long way to helping them succeed. They learn how to work and put off pleasurable activities until the task is done. They develop empathy and a tolerance of difference that most children cannot comprehend. They’re often inspired toward careers in helping people with disabilities or disadvantages. They may even go on to become medical researchers, psychologists or physicians. Unfortunately, your child may also be teaching himself to ignore his own needs and emotions. They feel guilty for going to you for support, since they believe that you have enough to deal with. Your child could lose touch with his emotions completely or even develop depression.
The good news is that a little attention goes a long way. Empathizing with your child’s situation and giving him adequate alone time when he needs it, as well as sharing your time and making yourself available to talk about his activities and goals will help to fill your child’s emotional needs. Just ten or fifteen minutes of undivided attention (talking about his sibling during this time and frequent interruptions should be avoided as best as possible) will give you both a time to recharge and will remind your child that even though his sibling requires a great deal of care and attention, you have plenty of love and support to go around.
