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Dealing with Divorce

With the divorce rate in the United States at an all-time high, it’s an unfortunate fact that an increasing number of children face huge family adjustments each year. While the divorce may be best for the well-being of your children, they will still have a tough time dealing with the new situation. Many kids feel that they could have prevented the split by cooperating more; some will even blame themselves, thinking that arguments caused by their forgotten homework assignments or bad behavior were the cause of the divorce. There are many ways you can help your child understand that the divorce is not their fault and make the transition easier for everyone.

It’s important that you and your ex-partner treat each other with respect. It’s important to your child that you are both present at important times and events in his life, and you must be able to be civil around each other. The worst thing you can do is pressure your child to “take a side” or to become jealous of the time or experiences your child shares with his other parent. Remember that your child is learning relationship patterns from you. Your child should not have to feel responsible for your well-being. Though your relationship has ended, as parents you must be able to overcome the issues you have with each other and focus on doing what’s best for your child. Sometimes a counselor is very helpful to a divorced parent dealing with these issues.

You may have to ease your child’s worries about financial problems that could arise, particularly if your child is a teenager planning to attend college. It’s important in stressful times like this that you maintain as much normalcy for your child as possible. Continue with regular activities and try to keep to a normal routine. Plan some fun outings to take your mind off things. This is a good opportunity to teach your child about stress management. Remember, the best way to teach is to lead by example. If your child sees you channeling your stress into athletic activities such as going for a jog, he will pick up on your healthy stress-management techniques.

Focus on the positive outcomes of the divorce. Your child may be upset by the change, but chances are he’s happier now that his parents have dealt with their problems and begun to move on. Many children develop a stronger relationship with each parent and discover their own strength and coping skills. By focusing on the positives you can turn a difficult transition into a valuable experience in learning and growth for your child.

Tags: coping, divorce, Family, stress management