Parenting Blog

Autism is a brain disorder, appearing mostly in childhood, which causes restricted social interaction and difficulty in communication. Autism is strongly associated with genetic makeup of the child and is more likely to be induced by factors that also cause birth defects. Symptoms of autism usually appear before the child is 3 years old and, if left untreated, can cause serious distress among kids. Since symptoms of autism are wide-ranging and many of them also characterize other disorders, the diagnosis of autism is rather difficult. Further, the diagnosis is based on behavioral observations i.e. there is not medical test to determine whether or not a child is autistic. 

Following are some behavioral characteristics that are indicative of autism. In case one or more of these is found in your child, you need to take him/her to a psychologist for the possible presence of autism. 

• In the later months of their first year or shortly afterwards, the child shows a decreased responsiveness to parents and other people/things. He/she does not look at the parent or person speaking to him/her. Also, he/she does not look into the parents’ eyes while they talk to him/her.
• The child resists cuddling and screams upon being picked up.
• In a little older age, the child keeps aloof from people and does not take part in play or social interaction with other kids.        
• Abnormally intense screaming fits and tantrums are displayed by the kid who is autistic.
• The child shows fascination with a single, apparently ordinary object (broken pieces of plastic or an unattractive tool).
• Decreased or no response to environmental conditions (heat or cold) is seen in many autistic children such that an autistic child may remain indifferent to hot or cold bath even in weather that is not at all friendly for such a bath.
• Many autistic children repeatedly show odd body movements like grimaces, flapping arms or hands, jumping from one foot to another etc.   
• Some autistic children may show signs of ‘geniuses’ e.g. they may be very good at a particular activity or subject like music, mathematics etc. But their over all performance as a child remains either very passive or over-reactive.  
• On the average, autistic children show poor language performance.  Some may show literal or pedantic use of words. And many autistic kids repeat the question or sentence instead of answering or expressing their own thought.
  

Parents need to take children, showing any of these signs of autism, to a psychologist who may also involve a pediatrician in treatment of the child. Parents will be required to work in close collaboration with the doctor/therapist to effectively treat their child out of autism.

Parents have all the reason to get excited about the appearance of the first teeth in their child’s wee mouth. In most babies, the first teeth appear at an age of around six to nine months. The order in which teeth usually appear is: lower incisors, upper incisors, molars, and canines. All the 20 milk teeth usually arrive by the age of two and a half years. The appearance of first teeth is indicative of the fact that the child is now ready to move on to solid foods. While teething is not so much a cause of unease in some kids, in many others, it does cause pain and irritation that is annoying to the baby as well as his/her parents.

Some of the common signs of teething include:

* A reddened area of the baby’s gum (before or after the appearance of the first tooth)
* An inflamed look on one of the baby’s cheeks
* The child’s irritability and fretfulness

These sings do not represent teething alone but may be springing from other illnesses so parents must see a pediatrician for proper treatment of any pediatric disease. When the cause is confirmed to be teething, you can try a number of soothing strategies to alleviate the baby’s teething pain. Following are some tips for easing teething pain in children.

* Let the baby chew on a safe object like teething rings, refrigerated pieces of a carrot or an apple, or hard-baked bread. Don’t give him/her sticky foods like chocolate; the fear of choking is always there. For the same reason, do not leave your baby alone with food.
* Rub your baby’s gums with a clean finger, but not too hard. You may use a teething gel like Bonjela for the same purpose. If you are sure that the sings of unease are not caused by any illness but teething, you may use homeopathic chamomile granules available at health food stores.
* Give the baby enough amount of liquid, preferably cooled, boiled water, at regular intervals. A little amount of pure fruit juice may be added to the water.
* If the child is slightly feverish, showing discomfort, give him/her a dose of infant Paracetamol. If the fever persists, take him/her to a pediatrician to treat any possible infection.
* Start brushing the baby’s teeth regularly, twice a day, soon after their appearance. Use a soft baby toothbrush and a pleasant flavor of baby toothpaste. If the baby is reluctant to allow a toothbrush, start with your clean finger and later introduce the brush.

In case any of the following symptoms appear in the child, take him/her to a doctor for the possibility of infection, since these symptoms are not commonly caused by teething:

* High and persistent fever (especially one that lasts for more than a day)
* Earache
* Diarrhea (especially a persistent one)
* Difficulty in breathing or cough accompanied by fever

Parenting is a sweet feeling, which you can understand only after being a parent. For some people it could be very hard to understand and for some it could be very easy, but in any situation, you will finally feel very good at being a parent. So, what does parenting mean? Does it mean how to become a good parent or does it mean how to make your child feel that how important a parent is in his or her life? Whatever parenting means at least it doesn’t mean to fulfill your dreams by destroying your child’s life. Parenting means how you can handle your kids problems, their likes, dislikes, demands, sickness, schooling and there are lot more than this to take care of after you become a parent.

I can’t make you feel like what I feel after becoming a “mom” (in my child’s words) but at least I can try it out. If you are going to become a new parent, I would like to give you some really interesting, which will make this new parenting experience really effective, rewarding and fun for you. There are some points, which must be taken into consideration, if you want to become a good parent and you want to achieve a good parenting experience.

First and Foremost “Take some time off from your office or your personal work and give that time to your child”, that will enhance your kids self esteem. Give full 100 % attention to his/her voice, because this is the time when they will talk to you and tell you everything and they will learn to express their feelings and most importantly, they will learn to talk. Don’t ignore them ever. Even after spending time with them, they tell you “mommy you have no time for us”. Don’t raise your voice. Talk to them in the most calming voice and Say yes “it’s been a long time since we spent time together”.

• When your kids are small, they have a strong urge to learn. They make their own story when you are away, they will ride their little bike everyday, they want to do all those work which his/her dad does it at home, like tightening screws, hammering on the walls, going for a ride, ask his/her mom whether she wants something from the market. They really like to work with you and for you. Do not ignore them, when they request for work. To make them feel important, you can ask them to help you in several deeds like cutting vegetables, selecting some items like ask him/her which toy you want, which dress you feel will be right for you and so many other things, they are new-generation kids and believe me! They know everything. If you are not able to decide on something, you can always ask them simple questions like how you are looking, is the dress fitting you, and believe me, your kid will always give you the best complement. This is amazing.

• Help your child always. Never try to interfere your children when he gets into bad situation. Every time your kid is learning something, so if you interfere him or her they will never be able to learn on their own. Let them learn themselves. Suppose your kid forgets the lunch. Let him think how to arrange his food, he knows it is there in his mind, because he has seen you several times coming out of bad situation like this. Don’t worry give him some space to think, and even after giving him space, he couldn’t find it out. Help him or her. Trying makes him at least learn something.

• Suppose your kid is angry at you or speaking disrespectfully don’t reply him back in anger, because if you reply back in anger, that doubt will be there in his mind and he will never be able to learn why my mommy shouted back at me. The raised voice will not calm him down, but arise more questions in his mind. So, just leave the room and tell him or her that you are waiting in other room, as you can’t understand him or her when he or she is crying or shouting, when he feels good, he can come and speak to you if he has something to say.

• Kids like several good words including strong, good, and handsome. They don’t like words, which means that they are not good but they are bad. Never tell your kid that he or she is bad unless it is very necessary to make him do something. Tell him it is his behavior, which you don’t like, and it’s very bad. Whether you tell him bad or good, it will not withdraw his or her love for you, but it will definitely reduce some respect, which your child gives you.

• Sometimes you have to be kind and sometimes you have to be strict with your child, because you don’t want people to hate your child for his behavior. Avoid Scolding, but if there is urgency to shout at him, then after the scolding try to talk to your child and try to understand his problem. If he or she is still upset about something try to be patient with your child and calm him or her down with the love.

A child’s brain is continuously in the process of development during the first few years of his/her life. Along this progress, his/her capacity to hold things for recalling also increases and his memory is structured gradually to store greater amount of information for longer than before. The earliest memories start from around 3 months of age when the child feels the parent’s touch, hold, and other pleasurable memories that have been source of comfort and protection. These memories, however, cannot be consciously reproduced in later life. They are lost immediately after they occur.

It is by the time of about 8 months of age when the child starts remembering things and people after they are no more in sight. He/she usually shows some anxiety or uneasiness after the parent/caretaker is no longer in view, a normal part of his/her development. As the child’s mental development proceeds, he/she is expected to remember more; remember more clearly; and remember for a longer time. You can roughly size up your child’s memory as to whether or not his/her brain is keeping up with his/her age by using the following information.

One-year olds, one the average, will remember (recognize) the people he/she sees at least once a week. They can also remember basic sequence of things observed in daily life. Hence they show some degree of imitation (do what they see the parent/guardian doing). Remember that a one-year old is not expected to remember faces that he/she has seen only a couple of times.

One-and-a-half year (18 months) old kids will normally remember where his favorite stuff (toys, clothes, or food) is kept. But they don’t, except in unusual cases, remember the location of an item they saw the previous day or earlier.

Two-year old children would normally learn and remember simple tasks like putting their blocks away when the same is repeated before them a few times by a parent/elder. They have an appreciable degree of the mental map of their house or a familiar place (kitchen, bathroom, hall etc.) and what objects lie at what spot in these places. Even with that level of memory, they are not expected to learn or remember things in a single instance of demonstration.

Three-year olds can report instances of his/her life (like doing something a little earlier) in the exact sequence that they happened. They can fetch one or two tings (but not more) when asked by an elder. Their memory is still not equipped to help fetch several things at once.        

Four-year old kids can be expected to recall the important events of the day that happened to them, especially those that interested them. However they should not be expected to recall all the things the way that grownups or older children do.    

Five-year old children are ready to be scheduled for things. You may tell them to do something daily (put their teddy bear in their bag at night) and they can follow the instruction. However, they may not yet be ready for remembering all the things (school items for example) that are on the list.

Six-year olds are expected to remember to bring notes home from the school staff and remember that they are supposed to do some homework, though they may not remember to recall what that homework exactly is; unless they have got it written down for them.